Frankie says RELAX

Since we've been back from Salt Lake, I have been a little on edge the last couple of days trying to get back into our routine. Even though Michelle did a remarkable job sticking to a pretty good bedtime routine last week, after traveling, it always takes her a few days to re-adjust. This means Barry gets to come home to a cranky mommy sleep deprived, burned out, and overwhelmed with household tasks she feels obligated to complete while Barry is at work bringing home the bacon. I have always thought that when Barry gets irritated when returning home from work, it is because he is overwhelmed by the things HE now has to do because I couldn't get them done. So, in trying to take care of him, I stress myself out trying to do EVERYTHING meanwhile feeling under-appreciated and maxed out. During a revealing conversation last night (which was much better in terms of my mood thanks to the sunshine), it came clear that Barry's source of irritation comes NOT from what I didn't do, but from HOW I treat him when I stress myself out trying to do it all. Staring at the dirty dishes and pots and pans from dinner, I said to Barry "I'm sorry, but I am NOT doing dishes tonight. I have to go to bed." He said "Good! I don't care if they get done or not. All I care about is that you are rested, happy and not bitching at me when I come home." I was astonished. "YOU don't care if the dishes get done?" He said "No! Above all, you need to be rested and healthy. It doesn't ALL need to be done in one day." So there we have it from the horses mouth. My husband, who I always viewed as a neat-freak, doesn't give a shit if the dishes get done or not. Mark this down ladies and gentlemen because this SAHM intends to take advantage of this permissible state! But above all, this was a lesson to me on how much I put on myself when the people-pleasing perfectionist rears its ugly head in an imperfect world. Frankie says RELAX.