Snow!

The snow is coming! Actually, it is already here in the mountains. On Tuesday in just 30 short minutes from our house, we arrived at Alta, donned our back-country skis, stuffed Michelle in her snowsuit, threw her in the pack, and hiked up to the top Albion lift where we threw out our first powder turns of the season. Once more was I keenly reminded of what an amazing place Salt Lake City is...if you like that kind of stuff! I mean really, 30 minutes from the best snow on earth? Pinch me! And to think I completely took it for granted as a child. In the words of Joni Mitchell "Don't it always seem to go, you don't know what you've got 'till it's gone..." Well, now I have it back and I will never take it for granted again!

Halloween Fun

We had a nice Halloween weekend. Despite the fact that the Canyon Rim Park neighborhood party was a rain-out, we still made the most of it hanging back with friends and dolling out the sweets to trick-or-treaters. On Sunday we went to breakfast at Ruth's Diner where Michelle dressed up in her complete witches garb. And the sleep? We went from having the WORST sleeper ever to the BEST sleeper ever. It's crazy! No crying, no fussing for naps or bedtime. Just happy cuddles with her dolly and snuggle-bear and she smiles herself to sleep. My insomnia however has continued. Weird. Maybe in my mind I am still waiting for Michelle to wake up, which makes it impossible for me to completely relax. Maybe one day we will ALL sleep well!

Sleep: the Final Chapter

Michelle, getting ready for bed last week.

Ironic that as I write this, I myself am experiencing cruel insomnia coming off a string of night shifts. I crashed at 8:00 tonight, but woke up just before midnight, wide awake, ready to take on the world. So as I pop a Benadryl with a an expiration date of December 2008, hoping it still works a little bit, Michelle is sleeping the best she has ever slept in 15 months.

For starters, let me call my parenting style a brand of modified "attachment parenting". I had a natural birth, I breastfed (and still doing so), cloth diaper, wore my baby, and for the most part respond immediately to any cry, scream, or sign of discomfort, and one parent has always been at home with her. When Michelle started having sleep problems at 5 months old, I read many different books on sleep training methods a part from any suggestion of letting her "cry it out" because of course, only cold-heartless parents let their baby cry it out! So we tried it all. When Michelle was 6 months old, in desperation after starting a solid bed time routine, we let her "cry it out" one night. She cried for 12 minutes. The next night she cried for 2 minutes. But it worked. After that, putting her down to sleep, though she would still wake a couple times a night, became much easier. If she woke up in panic and needed comforting, we would bring her to bed if necessary and we would sleep. Point being, we would ALL sleep. Which is the goal. Sleep.

Fast forward to 9 months old, HUGE changes. We move back to Salt Lake City and the booby (me) goes back to work. We lived with my parents for nearly 2 months and with the change in routine, surroundings, etc, once again we went in to survival mode. Nurse her, bring her to bed, let her sleep in the car seat, ANYTHING to get precious sleep. Once we moved into our own place (11 months old), a better routine was established and things got better. Since she thought our bed was a play gym, she rarely came to our bed anymore. Some nights better than others, but it was okay. We usually had her down by 8:00 PM, she would wake up around midnight, need a little comforting, go back to sleep, wake up around 5:00, I would nurse her, and then she would typically sleep until 8:00 or so.

This is not to say we didn't have our props! Since we swaddled Michelle until she simply grew out of her swaddles, we found that the CAR SEAT worked very well as a modified swaddler. However, the car seat turned into sleep-crack! All summer and fall she would not nap without it and on particularly rough nights, strapping her into the straight jacket car-seat in her crib was the only way to get her to sleep. When she turned a year old, I would embarrassingly admit that she required her car seat for restful sleep in conversation. Oh, do I wish I a had a dollar for everyone who said "Oh, she SHOULD be sleeping through the night by now", a statement I heard many times since she was 6 months old.

Fast forward to this week. Michelle had her 15 month check up on Monday. Michelle had a cold in early October and though no longer sick, the last two weeks had been particularly bad with wakings sometimes up around 6 times a night. Michelle was cranky, we were cranky, even the dog was cranky due to sleep deprivation! Our pediatrician recommended the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". I'll say it again "HEALTHY SLEEP HABITS, HAPPY CHILD" . I picked it up on Tuesday and devoured it. The basic conclusion? We had to let her cry it out. Shit! So why did I believe THIS book and not others? I was so afraid of reading a book and suffering through an onslaught of guilt being hammered with EVERYTHING we have done wrong. But this book did not do that. I felt commended for our dedication to comforting our child, attempts at establishing sleep routines and after reading the many accounts of other parents struggles with sleep, it came down to science. Behavior. Operant conditioning. Pavlov's dogs. Science. And most importantly, consistency. Michelle is an evolving human being. She is no longer a helpless infant, but a toddler now who is learning not only how to get what she NEEDS, but what she WANTS. As a parent, it is my job to teach her about bedtime. Bed time is bed time and we sleep until morning.

So after discussing my findings with Barry, because this is how Barry reads parenting books: I read them and then tell him about what I read, we decided on a plan. Major elements would change in our daily routine. First, Michelle's bed time would be moved up from 7:30 to 6:30. Then, her nap time would be pushed until AFTER lunch. If she doesn't wake up by 7:00 AM, we wake her. NO MORE CAR SEAT FOR SLEEPING. And the hardest part: No matter how hard she screams, when it is time to sleep, we DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES respond to her crying. And here are the results of our experiment!

Day #1: Nap: screaming 30 minutes, sleep 1.5 hours. Bedtime: screaming 30 minutes. Night wakings: one. Screaming back to sleep: 30 minutes. Wake-up 7:00 AM.

Day #2 Nap: screaming 5 minutes, sleep 2 hours. Bedtime: screaming 3 minutes. Night wakings: one. Fussing back to sleep: 5 minutes. Wake-up 7:00 AM.

Day #3 Nap: fussing 2 minutes, sleep 1.5 hours. Bedtime: fussing 3 minutes. Night wakings: NONE!

Day #4 Nap: NO FUSSING, sleep 2 hours. Bedtime: NO CRYING!

Conclusion: OUR CHILD FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 15 MONTHS SLEEPS THROUGH THE NIGHT!!!
And she was not traumatized! After that first night, she still woke up thinking I was the greatest thing since sliced bread. And tonight when I lay her down with her little doll in her arms, she put her hands behind her head, snuggled into her doll and smiled at me as if to say "Thank you momma for teaching me how to sleep on my own. I never KNEW sleep could be SO WONDERFUL!". And oh how wonderful it is!

I'm A-Walkin' Daddy!

Enjoying the fall colors in Lamb's Canyon, via Millcreek Canyon.



"I'm a-walkin' daddy..." The lyrics of a favorite Craig Brown tune come to mind! Coinciding with almost exactly with 14 months, Michelle took her first steps last Saturday and within 5 days, she was running. I will post both videos here to compare. It is amazing how fast they master a skill once they put their mind to it!
And 5 days later...


In other news, it appears that Michelle is initiating the weaning process by chomping down on my nipples. Yes. OUCH! She is losing interest in nursing during the day all together, but she does seem to take one long nursing at night without a bite. I am glad she is initiating the process. It has been a very special bond and I am so grateful for the 14 months of sharing those special moments. I hope to hang on to that ONE nursing at night for a little while longer, but we'll just see how it goes.

There goes August!

Blowing bubbles in Grandma's pool in Phoenix.

It has been a month since my last post! I guess I am finding that adding little snippits to Facebook is a little less time consuming than actually sitting down to write something. Easier to upload photos to FB too. But here are some pictures of the month of August. A month of momentous events with Grandpa Bert's funeral, Io turned 10 years old on the 28th, followed by the 10th anniversary of my mother's death on the 31st. Michelle is not walking yet, but will stand up unassisted if she doesn't realize she is doing it. I know one day soon she will just be up and walking and that will be it. I will be chasing after her, wondering why I encouraged it. Barry is now actively looking for work, tuning up the resume and talking to recruiters. Financially, it will be good for him to be working again though with that opens a whole new can of worms: Childcare. Since my work schedule is so sporadic, flipping from days to nights to days, we can't really plan too much until Barry knows what kind of job he will have, especially if it requires traveling. I can't very well work a night shift if Barry is out of town unless I pay up the nose for an overnight babysitter. So one step at a time. Once Barry finds work, we'll address the other stuff then.

Hiking to Dog Lake with auntie Cory.










Michelle attended her friend Tegan's First Birthday party.









Michelle plays cowgirl, driving the cattle home the pick-up truck in Wyoming.










Dave and Charlotte's place. Where Barry and I fell in love 7 years ago. 4 years ago we were married across the valley. Now we bring our baby girl to this beautiful place.

Goodbye Papa Bert

Grandpa Bert passed away last night. He was a wonderful man and I have so many fond memories of him throughout my life. I am so grateful that Michelle got the chance to see him three times. Though she probably won't remember, she will hear many stories from mommy in the years to come.

One Year Old- July 21st

It is so hard to believe Michelle is a year old. She had a wonderful birthday party and grandma Donna insisted on treating Michelle to her glamour shots at Sears. Every day I am amazed at what her little brain has discovered. Today, she figured out how to climb up on the couch all by herself. No walking yet though she will crawl up and down stairs at lightening speed. She will stand up holding on to you and if you slowly step away, she will keep standing for like 30 seconds until it occurs to her "CRAP! I need to sit down. I'm not ready for this standing up unassisted business!"

You CAN have your cake and eat it too!

The princess on her throne!

Too cool!

What an amazing year. What an amazing thing life is.

First Camping Trip

Last week, Michelle enjoyed her first camping trip in the Uintas. Grandpa Dave came along to fish with Barry and were successful at catching a trout dinner for us on our second evening out. Since Michelle was basically down with the sunset and up with the sunrise, we were all a little sleep deprived but it was totally worth it!

All Settled In by Father's day

We are COMPLETELY moved in. It took a couple of weeks to gather the remaining items straggling behind at my father's house, but we absolutely love our new place. Since I never got to really decorate a nursery for Michelle in Tacoma, it has been very fun for mommy to put Michelle's little room together. The work seems to have paid off as we officially have a "good sleeper" on our hands. With the exception of the night before Father's day where she woke up every hour thanks to erupting canines, she is now in the habit of sleeping in until 8:00 AM. She also seems to be transitioning to one nap a day which makes planning fun activities easier.



Barry enjoys his surround sound which is finally dialed in to his liking...no small feat!





Picnic with daddy on Father's day weekend.

Brunch with grandpa at Ruth's Diner where Michelle enjoyed her first mile-high biscuit and a huge bowl of pinto beans. Remarkable diaper the next day, let me tell you!

Daddy's first Father's Day!

A Father's day swim in Michelle's new bikini compliments of auntie Cory.

Sleeping through the night

Michelle commemorates Memorial Day.

Belated Easter Photo Shoot
At 10 months old, I think we can say Michelle is just about sleeping through the night. She wakes up generally once, but Barry can usually cuddle her back to sleep and she has not nursed at night in about a week. I think this is in part due to Barry's trip away from home with her. Though it was extremely hard for ME to be separated from her, she totally learned to be consoled at night without boobie. Barry was initially going to come back with me from Arizona last week on Tuesday, but since it was snowing in Salt Lake and sunny in Phoenix, he decided to stay with Michelle until Friday. This did not go down easy with me. But since I was coming back to work night shifts last week, I couldn't bring Michelle back with me. Though my family has readily jumped in for last-minute babysitting, neither They, Michelle or I would have been ready to leave her all night without mommy or daddy. So Barry and Michelle stayed on. And each night she slept better and better. When they got back on Friday, I was working nights so the routine continued. Then finally, last night, even though I was home sleeping in a bed in the same room as Michelle where she could no doubt smell the gentle wafts of mommy's scent, she slept. And slept. She did wake up once, but Barry gently cuddled her back to sleep until her usual wake-up time around 6:15. All I can say is I hope this is a lasting routine.


A visit with Great Grandma Bea and Great Grandpa Bert.












Family swim time. No wonder Barry wanted to stay a few more days!
In other news, we are finally moving into our new place this week. Though the help and hospitality of my parents has been appreciated beyond compare, we are excited to have our own space again. We'll see how Michelle holds up to yet another environmental change and if it effects her sleep cycle!

First Mother's Day

Enjoying our first Mother's Day at the Silver Fork, Big Cottonwood Canyon.


Grandma Linda and Michelle show off their color coordination!

We also enjoyed a pre-Mother's Day visit from Grandma Donna!

Grandmas are the best!

We went on a wonderful hike yesterday up Mill Creek Canyon. I was keenly reminded of every reason why I moved back here on this hike. Auntie Cory has quickly become one of Michelle's favorite people and clearly you can see why! Auntie Cory is where all the fun is! We had dinner that night at Cory and Billy's where Michelle quickly found her favorite toy, the dog water bowl. Of course, Cory and Billy have the kind that does not tip over, making this indoor splashing puddle particularly wonderful. She then preceded to mop the floor with her sopping wet pants and really didn't seem to care at all. Auntie Cory then gave her a bath which wrapped up a perfect day. And to top it all off, we all slept better last night than we have in weeks!




























Io remarks "Are you sure you want to let her go down this road? I've seen it and it is NOT pretty!"